Would you tell your sex dream partner?

So I had a dream last night. It was a very vicarious dream. 

Everything happened from my point of view. She was sitting there, talking. I was listening. She was taking her clothes off. I didn’t seem to move. Until she got into the shower and I joined her.

That’s when the dream ended. So it was really a near sex dream. Sorry if you feel misled…

I have no idea what she was saying. I remember thinking: “Is this happening? What the hell?! Euhm… She’s taking her clothes off.” I have never met her. I only know her from Twitter. And I’m not going to lie: She’s beautiful. 

When the dream ended, a big “Noooooooo!” went through my mind. And you can try as much as you want. You’re not getting back into that dream.

I already went as far as admitting this on Twitter, and now here. I wouldn’t mind someone telling me they dreamt about me, but I can imagine there are those who just rather not know.

Woud you want to know? (If the person from my dream asks, I’ll admit it to her.)

A kick in the nads and some erotic weirdness

Going through the motions, day in and day out, I feel I have reached the point where I need a swift kick in the nads to feel I’m still alive.

Note: When you read this, and we meet: DON’T KICK ME IN THE NADS! You have no idea how much that hurts. Unless you’ve given birth or something. Not that I know, it just looks painful. L-O-L *exclamation mark* *smiley face*

Tomorrow’s “working on Saturdays” has been canceled. I’m very happy about that. I’m not so happy that I’m feeling under the weather. So heading to bed early this lovely Friday evening. Let’s hope I’ll be able to enjoy this weekend a bit.

Oh look 10.45 pm already… Maybe I should read some Daily Show slash fiction in bed. Get my mind off of things.

Clique

Can I be in your clique? 

Also:

Seriously. Pull me out of my cave! (Or join me)

Why Johnny Drama is the perfect girlfriend.

Yes, girlfriend. I’m obviously not talking about the physical manifestation. I’m merely considering the character and all its facets. 

A Drama always has something to tell. She may brag about the unbraggable, but it doesn’t bother you because it’s cute (sometimes in a perverted kind of way). She may say dumb shit, but she’ll knock you out of the park with some keen knowledge as well.

Drama says stuff like “Do you ever jerk off with a belt around your neck?” Crazy, weird, maybe a little sick, but it’s all good because she makes you laugh. She puts a smile on your face.

A Drama takes care of herself. Eats healthy, but doesn’t shy away of indulging herself with some greasy foods now and then. And she is a good cook.

The little stuff matter. Even the futile. Drama does not forget. And Drama is proud.

But Drama is also drama. Drama can be a little intense. But she always means well.

A Drama is a friend, a lover and a “bro.”



P.S.: If you’re into men, feel free to replace ‘she’ with ‘he’. If you’re into old guys, just keep the character as a whole, no imagination needed. 

P.S. 2: Watch ‘Entourage.’

The deeper meaning of wiping

Have you ever wondered how other people might wipe their ass?

I know what your thinking. I too find it a weird question to ask oneself. That’s why I think I got it from Louie CK. I can hear him ask that question and then elaborate on it.

Do you take one or two pieces at a time? Or a whole bunch and wrap it in a bundle of some sort? And when you take a few pieces do you fold them after a first wipe and then wipe again with the same pieces?

Do you look at what’s on the paper after a wipe? Are there people who smell their own shit and go: “Oghh, that’s a good shit.” 

Ever had a doctor ask you about your shit?; What color it is? The consistency? … There are in fact cases where a doctor might ask that. So, you actually need to look at it before you flush. It might save your life. Looking at your shit might save your life.

Alfa-Lima-Oscar-November-Echo

Nobody responded to the following:

It can suck not having any close friends in the place where you live. 


P.S.: I get that the tweet wasn’t in your face obvious. Don’t worry.

Life is good

You want to know what’s beautiful to watch? Someone experiencing pleasure from something so simple as morning dew, from a not so thick layer of fog over a wide and open landscape you pass by riding the train to work.

She just sat there, enjoying the view. A view I’ve seen plenty of times. Something I don’t even remotely care about. But there she was, a young woman gazing out the window going from smile to smile, land to land. Enjoying the simple things in life.

The whole thing actually put a smile on my ugly face. All I was thinking about, before that moment, was the bus I wanted to catch, hoping it’ll have a small delay, otherwise I’d have to wait for an hour.

I should have thanked her for sharing that smile. 

OMG! We got a 459!

This morning. I’m ready to leave for work. I see my apartment door is open… FUCK!

*runs to the dining room* FUCK! My laptop is gone! *two seconds pass* Oh no, he’s in my backpack I’m carrying. I take a look around. Everything seems to be there. *big sigh of relief*

*checks the time* FUCK! I have a train to catch! … I made it with two minutes to spare. Eat shit Flash!

So what had happened? My door gets a little stuck in the door frame. So last evening I probably didn’t push it all the way through and turned the lock. The bolt was sticking out. So when I saw that, my brain should’ve gone: “Why would you break in, and then turn the lock without closing the door?”

I still can’t shake the feeling that came over me when I noticed my door was open and my laptop wasn’t where I never leave it… (Yes, you are reading that last part right) 

The thought that some stranger’s in your home while you are asleep got me thinking. What if someone breaks in and you’re on the toilet going number two. Can you imagine running after a guy with your pants on your ankles, leaving a trail of feces all over the place. Yuk!

The whole thing (Sounds rather dramatic, but still) made me feel a bit silly. Early Monday morning excitement nonetheless!

The Truth About Jane

Well, actually about what Jane is telling and the knowledge she is sharing. 

Have you read her book ‘Reality Is Broken’? No? You should if you’re interest in games and their principles, and what these (can) mean for the real world and our day to day life. 

Maybe you’ve seen one of her talks? TED? Fuck. Have you been living under a rock or something? Go check her out! Right below are her slides for her Games for Health 2012 keynote: A Crash Course in Getting SuperBetter.

You have seen her? Heard her sharing what she and others have found? Not convinced? Well then, Jane is so kind to share all the resources, all the science, she used for her message. Go ahead. It’s all there at blog.superbetter.com in the order it was presented.

Thank you Jane!

Dude, that is so Metallica

I went to see Metallica at Werchter Boutique yesterday. All I can say is that these guys went, and they went hard! Their epic intro. Awesome kick-off. A very satisfying middle. A ‘fuck yeah’ ending and encore. 

I got to see a lot of bare backs and beer-bellies. Not all male might I add. Tattoo overload. Ugly ones. 

Also saw a guy, two actually, climb a tent and moon the crowd. I hate those guys. Why don’t women do that? 

Oh, and hey, James, buddy. You talked about how we were a Metallica “family”. And you’re right. There was more than one drunken uncle though. Definitely one asshole of a cousin. The slutty niece. And plenty of troublemakers. And they all don’t give a shit about the rest. Yay family! \o/ 

It did feel like a family gathering. What were all those little kids doing there? Besides those who picked up plastic cups. 

A guy lost his glasses in a moshpit. Serves him right. Eeediot. 

After the concert, as we were driving out of the parking lot, we saw a guy fall down a brook. Twice. A hilarious sight.

Other than the kick-ass concert, it was lovely meeting some people in the flesh. We should meet again. 

This was my second Metallica concert. I enjoyed it plenty!